Wednesday 24 August 2011

Approaching Children that are Uneasy

Let's start this post with a definition of a phobia because it is often an overused term with respect to clowns.

(from Wikipedia) A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος, Phóbos, meaning "fear" or "morbid fear") is a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational. In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities.



The official term for a phobia of clowns is Coulrophobia.  It does exist, but it is far more rare than most people may think.  The people with this phobia will not come anywhere near you as a clown.  They will be on the other side of the road, park, or house.  They will not stand next to you and say, "you're freaking me out, man!"  Those people are playing the game that is for some reason "cool" right now to say that they are "afraid" of clowns.  As someone who has many phobias, I can tell the difference.  They would respond to me the same way that I respond to dogs, cats, bees, the dark, etc.  


Moving on, you will occasionally find that some people are uncomfortable or shy around you upon first seeing you.  There are ways to respond to this behaviour that will also help people with real fears to feel less anxious as well.  In my personal experience, if given at least half an hour, I have been able to win over every child to be comfortable with me at this point.  There may come a time when there is one or two that don't come around, but I'm ok with that too.  There was ONE instance where I had won over the child to play with me, only to find that he had an extreme balloon phobia and had to leave the room at that point since I had been hired to twist balloons for all the children... he went to another room with a colouring book and crayons and was happy there, however, so all went well.


On to how to do this.  This lesson could be taught more easily in person, but if even this amount helps you in your work, I'm happy.


1. Be Aware - of everyone around you.  And I mean EVERYONE.  You should know they are there before they know you are there.  This is hard, especially when you are also trying to entertain and interact with the people that are already there, but it is important that you notice their initial reaction to you immediately.  It greatly affects how you will interact with them.


2. Eye Contact - make eye contact with everyone, but with the people who seem uncomfortable, make it out of the corner of your eyes or with your head down.  You want to look shy towards them.  You cannot look confidently towards someone who is uneasy with you or they will feel intimidated by your confidence.  With little ones you can play a peek-a-boo kind of game with this, but I'll get into that more later.


3. Body Language - if you can, you want to make them taller than you.  You want to make them feel completely in control of the situation.  I will get down on my knees usually for these children or (hopefully) their parents will be holding them and they'll already be taller than me (I'm short).  Your body language should indicate shyness or slight submissiveness, but not be unfriendly or unwelcoming.  Pretend you are a shy 3 year old yourself, that's something they are familiar with even if your makeup and appearance is not familiar.


4. Voice - don't be Binky the Clown from Garfield.  We all have a tone of voice that we use with babies and young children.  Let's be clear that I don't mean that you should change your vocabulary or grammar (I speak with children using the same word choices and grammar that I would use with adults because that is what I want them to learn), but use your soft tone of voice.


5. Breaking the Ice - This is where you need to draw them in.  You could do all those other things and just let them walk on by, but that isn't going to help your cause.  Here is where you can play peek-a-boo, little "hiding" games that always let them see where you are and allow them to control how close they get to you (hide behind a narrow pole and cover your face like you are hiding), etc.  Let them know that it is ok for them to stay 'over there.'  I always have stickers in my pockets.... stickers are both a gift for children whose parents don't want to buy them a balloon or face painting and a peace offering for children who are uneasy.  Your peace offering can be given at arms length or given to a parent to pass along, it will have the same effect.  At a party, invite them to come and play whenever they are ready, but don't push and invite them to watch from the safety of their parent's arms if they are not ready yet.  Every once in a while, check in with them and invite them again, but remember that as long as they are happy watching from where they are, they are enjoying you and your performance in their own way.  The one that was climbing their mother's leg when they first saw you, just might be posing for pictures with you by the end of the party.


I really do hope that this helps you to be comfortable with all the "fearful children."  Really, they are just not sure what to expect from you.  They have been trained to avoid strangers and you are about as strange a thing as they have ever seen, but everyone just expects them to jump for joy at your mere presence.  You need to show them that you are safe, you need to earn their trust, not just expect it.


Keep Smiling!! :D
Perry Noia the Scaredy Clown

1 comment:

  1. There is a little girl at the Downtown Windsor Farmers' Market who has loved playing shy games with me for 3 years. She almost always gets a balloon animal and she promises me that she's going to get her face painted.... soon. ;) She's 5.

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